You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Randomize