I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
Randomize
