Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
