i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
