I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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