Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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