I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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