oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Randomize
