I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
