I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I forget how to act sober
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
