she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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