I wanna bring you to show and tell
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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