return my video game
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
