I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
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