mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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