I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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