I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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