both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
