The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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