Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
