I think I just saw someone hide a body.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
