I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
