You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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