Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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