Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
