420 ftw
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Randomize
