P.S. I can't hear my feet
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Randomize