I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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