Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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