She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
