There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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