you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
