Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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