on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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