I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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