we're blogging at a bar
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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