The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
