i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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