im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
