Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
