You were right. It hurts to walk today.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
