If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize