You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
