omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
