I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
