oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize