I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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