at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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