I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
