Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Randomize
