Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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