But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
