you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
