I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
COCAINE IS GR8
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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