just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
