your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
