i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
