Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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