Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
