Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Randomize
