Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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